Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Puppies vs. Babies

I have never watched the cable network called The Animal Planet.  And, I never will.  Never.

Before I start getting letters from the ASPCA and PETA, I would just like to say that I like children more than cats.  Or dogs  Or Koala bears.

When I turned on AOL today, I came across the banner that read "Puppies vs. Babies".  I almost threw up.  The competition that will be airing on Animal Planet is trying to determine which is "cuter".  And if you think that your cat or your bird or your schnauzer is cuter than the picture here to the left, then you are as crazy as those idiots on the Animal Planet.

Aren't people crazy enough?  Do you really have to "tongue kiss" your dalmation?  Does little FooFoo have to ride in your lap while you're driving your Escalade down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills?  Or even down Liberty Avenue?  Do you know what will happen to little FooFoo if that air bag goes off?

The other day, someone asked me to be a part (a very small part) in a gathering that will collect money to feed the goddam animals.  (Sorry, but I'm mad, OK?  I know I've really never cursed before in a blog.)  I told this person that when every child in Pittsburgh, or the WORLD has enough to eat, THEN and ONLY THEN will I even lift a finger to insure that some dog gets three squares a day.

Now don't get me wrong PETA, I do not have any fur clothing in my closet.  But I am not an animal lover.  I like animals.  I even think they're cute.  But I do not love animals.  I love babies.  Children.  And yes, even some of you stinky adults out there.

And you wanna know something else?  I'M even cuter than your dog.  Well, maybe... 

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